Fifty Shades of What-The-Fuck

This blog is a snarky commentary and review of the infamous 50 Shades of Grey. It's for entertainment purposes only-taking the utter and complete piss, making ridiculous, sarcastic remarks, and generally wiping the floor with what possibly is the worst published piece of literature the 21st century has ever encountered. If you don't like what you see-please leave. If not, please welcome, feel at home and ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!
deducecanoe:

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

riddlemehiddleston:


This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”


my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this



I need this.

deducecanoe:

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

riddlemehiddleston:

This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.

The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”

The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”

my own hair is fine

oh my god where can i buy this

image

I need this.

(Source: m3lodigression, via hailteamfreedestiel)

irenebadler:

I was on the bus and this girl was sitting next to me and she was reading 50 Shades of Grey and then she was like OH HELL NO and literally threw the book out of the door.

(via adidassocks)

Anonymous asked: Nothing worse than having one of your best friends be a huge fan. I told her I'd write a better version. Wish me luck.

Yikes!! I feel your pain! Lots of good luck, you have all our support!!

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

riddlemehiddleston:


This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”


my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this


I need this book in my life! Someone please buy me this book! I’ll love you 5ever!!!

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

riddlemehiddleston:

This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.

The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”

The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”

my own hair is fine

oh my god where can i buy this

image

I need this book in my life! Someone please buy me this book! I’ll love you 5ever!!!

(Source: m3lodigression, via there-are-some-who-call-me-tim)

Anonymous asked: During my exams last week, my friend decided to read 50 Shades on her Kindle after she was done. The teacher then asked her what she was reading, my friend annouced it to everyone within earshot, and then her and the teacher proceeded to have an in depth conversation about their favorite parts of the book. o-o I dont think i can look at my teacher the same way again.

Oh goodness that’s so sad! You have my sympathy!

bronzegorgoneia asked: for previous anon: rough and ready is a spoof of shitty erotica novels, it's written by sandra hill and it is fucking hilarious. kurtis sawyer did a brilliant dramatic reading of it, you can listen to it on youtube. (also loving the blog!)

Thanks for letting us know, and thanks for the blog love :)

Anonymous asked: hi, love the blog and hate 50 shades of grey with a passion! i was just wondering if you knew the titles of any books worse than 50 shades, specifically erotica? I recall seeing one called 'rough and ready' which featured the unfortunate female lead experiencing a 'dick attack', and i want more terribleness! keep up the great work xx

Thank you so much :)
Hah… While I was reading your post I was tempted to say that 50 sog is the only book I know of which is so bad…

Then I realized that it is the only book I know of which is so bad

Sorry I can’t be more helpful but I try to limit my intake of really bad books, and I’m still recovering from this one

Conclusion - If anybody knows of/has read any books on par/worse than 50sog please let me know.

Some books need to die.

castillejadequenya asked: My awesome English teacher brought this up sarcastically in class and one of my (male, football playing) classmates said he wanted to read it. And then I just raised my hand and went off on a feminist rant about what's wrong with that book (the bad writing, creepy stalker abusive relationship, misrepresentation of everyone in any sort of kink community etc.) and I'm pretty sure no one in that class will ever look at me the same again. (Except the ones who agreed or just dgaf.)

Anonymous asked: You ever heard of the parody book Fifty-Thousand Shades of Grey? It's literally a book only containing the phrase "fifty shades of grey" fifty thousand times.

Lol wut?!?! Nope, never heard of it! Lemme go check it out asap!! xD Thank you!! THIS IS BRILLIANT!

fat-penguin asked: Ok, so if the Christians had book-burnings for the Harry Potter series (one that inspired generations of children to both read and dream) WHY CAN'T THEY BURN FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY?!?!

Ahaha, if only we knew!!!

It offends me both as a librarian and a pervert.

—best comment on 50 Shades of Grey that I’ve heard so far (via zarahlee)

(via sarcasmisalifechoice)

Anti 50SOG Twitter by Dragonastra

Guys, you should all check out her twitter cos she’s doing a lovely job of live-tweeting her horror at the atrocity that is 50SOG. 

Enjoy! ^^

Asda Christmas Advert

The one I was talking about in the last ask - it’s actually a really cute ad, one of the nicer ones, and THEN I SPOTTED IT. Last scene, the woman reading. It’s 50 Shades of Grey, I’m sure of it.